Spinning in the Rain
by iwantfifaonline
Summary: Carter/Rosie, Demi/Selena. “At least one of us has to remember to spin in the rain.” M because i have no idea where i'm going with this. Hopefully somewhere good. : Carter/Selena tries to win Rosie/Demi back with the only thing they have left, memories.
1. Spinning in the Rain

She turned the key and the rumbling engine that Demi could feel pulsing through her like a constant heartbeat came to a standstill. She wondered briefly if anyone would be around to feel her own heartbeat stop but pushed the thought aside as she carelessly pushed the door open, forgetting about the rain.

"Shit!"

She quickly ducked her had back inside the car and wrapped her perfectly manicured hand around the umbrella, her black fingernails blending in with the black fabric. Stepping outside once again, she clicked the button on the handle and the umbrella and it leapt forward like some kind of cobra, its end curled comfortably in her hand.

It was barely drizzling, so the steady sound of the raindrops hitting the stretched cloth above her was calming. The comfort lay mostly in the fact that something else was taking the hits for her- taking the raindrops.

As she walked, she tried matching her footsteps to the patter of raindrops around her but soon found that trying to find any sort of beat amid this chaos was impossible. She knew this from personal experience, and regularly applied it in the chaos she called her life. She winced as a few stray raindrops were blown in her face by the wind.

She hated rain. Couldn't stand it. When it rained everything was grey and wet, it seemed like no matter where she went she couldn't escape from it. Even when she went inside she could still feel the rain in her bones and blood. The one thing she hated most about the rain was how much it made her think. It was as if when it rained the carefully built damns in her mind flooded, and everything came rushing back to her- everything she had tried so hard to lock away for good. Demi couldn't help but think back to two years ago, on a day quite like today.

_Demi walked up to the door of the school and pulled a few times before remembering she had to push. Two years at this school and she still couldn't remember even that simple fact. She walked out into the rain, her brow immediately furrowing in disapproval and her hands flying to the hood of her black jacket in an attempt to salvage her hair._

_Her scowl turned into a smile at the sight of Selena spinning around and around in the rain, her hands held out and her head tilted to the sky. Water ran off of her content face and landed on her grey hoodie, the hood of which lay forgotten on her back. Her already dark hair was turning black as a moonless night._

"_Sel? What are you doing?"_

"_Spinning."_

"_I can see that but…why?"_

"_Why not?"_

"_Well, for one thing, your makeup will get ruined!"_

"_Not wearing any."_

_Demi felt a pang of jealousy at that comment. She wished that she could look half as gorgeous as her best friend did, but for all her makeup she knew she couldn't compare. Selena suddenly stopped spinning and looked over at Demi, all the silliness from the moments before lost. Instead, Demi saw…determination. Selena started walking towards Demi swiftly._

"_Lena? You're walking awfully fast…Lena should I run?" Demi said, taking a few steps back, fear and confusion etched into her face, getting ready for the hit that she knew was about to come. And boy did it come. Selena couldn't have knocked the breath out of her more if she had thrown an anvil at her. Before Demi knew what had happened Selena's lips were on hers, the rain making them slippery, smooth, and soft. Their lips found a rhythm that mixed perfectly with the rain falling around them, even when Demi smiled into the kiss and threw it off, thinking about all the clichés of kissing in the rain._

_Demi felt the rain coloring her hair as it had colored Selena's and briefly wondered when exactly it was that her hood had fallen off. Before she could come to an answer she was distracted by Selena's hand moving from her neck to her waist, fitting perfectly into the soft curve, and she wondered why it hadn't always been there when it was so obviously perfect. She wondered why Selena had waited so long to kiss her, or better yet, why she hadn't gone ahead and kissed the daylights out of Selena herself when it was quite possibly the most perfect and natural thing she had ever felt. Most importantly, she wondered why she had not always loved the rain when it felt so good falling lightly on her face- as if the sky was kissing her as she too tilted her head up to stare at the clouds, trying in some way to repay them, to kiss them back. She looked back at Selena, knowing that her makeup had run all over but simply not caring as Selena cupped her cheek._

"_Demi Lovato you have never looked more beautiful."_

_And then, just like that, they were kissing again, and Demi knew that she would never have to spin in the rain. Selena made the world spin around for her._

As much as these memories killed Demi they never failed to bring a smile to her face, or make her heart skip a beat. She stopped in her tracks as the wind picked up. Feeling it against her face reminding her oh so much of Selena's minty breath hitting her face, even of her caress. For a moment, she forgot everything that had happened since, forgot how much Selena had changed, forgot how Selena had let herself get sucked into the world of superstardom- a world that didn't include Demi. She even managed to forget that Selena never wore grey hoodies anymore, or spun in the rain, or kissed her. The new Selena would never tilt her head up to the sky as Demi did now, because she knew that Demi wouldn't be there to tell her she looked beautiful even when Selena's makeup (because the new Selena wore makeup of course) ran all over the place.

Just when the wind picked up to a staggering crescendo, Demi let go of everything. She let go of her memories, her pain, her fears, her cares, and her umbrella. She turned around to watch as her last protection from the rain flew away, going higher and higher until it was nothing but another star in the sky.

With her hands free of the burden of the umbrella, she spread them out and slowly began to spin in the rain, growing dizzier and dizzier. In the back of the mind she knew she should be worried because Selena wouldn't be there to catch her when she grew too dizzy to stand, but she pushed the thought aside, deciding that when she fell she would simply stand back up and continue spinning.

As if her spins were some magical spell to summon Selena, the sound of footsteps reached the singer's ears and the scent that floated in the wind told her exactly who it was. Demi didn't stop spinning. She hesitated for a moment before opening her eyes, scared that hearing, smelling, and seeing Selena all at the same time would be too much for the girl who had to grab onto something for balance at the mere mention of her name.

The Selena she saw before her in glimpses every time she made a full circle was nothing like the one from her memory. She was wearing a gorgeous dress as opposed to an old grey hoodie, for one thing, obviously on her way to some event. She was dry as a cactus on the sun thanks to her umbrella, for another. However, the one thing that caught Demi's eye the most was the one thing that most people didn't notice. Selena's eyes were a flat, even black. Dark chocolate had replaced the milk chocolate orbs of days past. As Demi stared into her eyes she saw nothing that she remembered, nothing familiar. They were cold, distant, expressionless, and worst of all they lacked the gleam that Demi had come to associate so fully with her best friend.

"What are you doing Demi?"

They were the first words Selena had said to her in over a year, and Demi was now seriously worried about keeping it together in front of the girl. Selena could never know how she affected her- how much Demi had cared, did care, and always would care, because if Selena found out, Demi lost. Demi lost everything she had tried so hard to create. Her image of apathy, strength, and independence- all lost. So she did what she always did. She slapped on a smile and replied in a single word.

"Spinning."

Selena shook her head incredulously, lifting a perfect eyebrow ever so slightly.

"Why?"

Demi stopped spinning slowly; this was what she had been waiting for. She looked Selena dead in those foreign eyes and tried to put everything she felt into these few words.

"Because at least one of us has to remember to spin in the rain."

Selena stared back at Demi for a moment before the tiniest of one sided smiles graced her lips, coupled with a small nod. And then she turned on her heel and left. Just like that. But that was all Demi needed, that tiny sign. She'd won Selena back, the old Selena. She'd won back a miniscule piece of her and she didn't care if it took her the rest of her life, but she would put Selena back together again piece by piece, like a puzzle. Until she, and along with her Demi, were whole again.

With that Demi smiled, looked to the sky, and resumed spinning- repeating those words simply to hear them once more.

"At least one of us has to remember to spin in the rain."


	2. Just a Walk in the Park

The floor of her room was littered, no, _covered_ with the most ragtag collection of objects she had ever seen. Photos that had obviously been ripped apart and carefully taped together over and over again. Notes covered in two different colors of ink (one for each person who spilled their thoughts onto them and braved detention just to pass them to the other), the ink smudged from where the tears had fallen. A brilliant red leaf, the kind that can make a tree look as if it's flaming before it falls off and is picked off the ground by a love struck young girl. A bulb from a string of Christmas lights, once adorning a beautifully festive tree, now adorned by a large crack running from top to bottom. A piece of pale blue chalk, used until a piece roughly the size of a penny was all that was left. A wrinkled old sunflower seed with initials carved into it, a few small clumps of dirt still sticking to it.

She looked around at the mementos she had dug out of a box under her bed. She had forgotten about them until recently, much like the memories they were meant to remind her of. However, unlike her memories, they were much easier to push away and forget but not nearly as hard to find once she had forgotten. Remembering something that has been repeatedly pushed out of one's head for the sake of sanity is actually much harder than it sounds, and that's what the mementos are for. She may not remember but they do. They remember everything. Her hopes are that their whispers will find her in her sleep and when she wakes her memories will have returned, since right now even as she looks at them spread out before her like a comic book, the only memory she can remember is the most recent one.

Selena stared back at Demi for a moment before the tiniest of one sided smiles graced her lips, coupled with a small nod. And then she turned on her heel and left. Just like that. But that was all Demi needed, that tiny sign. She'd won Selena back, the old Selena. She'd won back a miniscule piece of her and she didn't care if it took her the rest of her life, but she would put Selena back together again piece by piece, like a puzzle. Until she, and along with her Demi, were whole again.

Demi carefully picked up the leaf, handling it delicately as it was in serious danger of falling apart in her hand. Out of all the objects around her, this was the only one that held any meaning to her, any significance, because it was the only one of the memories she could remember. As she stood up and walked towards the door she found herself desperately wishing that Selena would remember as well, because if she didn't, then Demi's plan wouldn't work. She tried to push away these thoughts so filled with negativity, but she couldn't. She didn't realize just how much hope she had put into her plan to win Selena back through memories and mementos.

In order to remember everything that had happened, Demi had had to tear down all the walls she had spent so much time and energy to build. She had had to open the floodgates not just to memories and recollections but to feelings as well, feelings for Selena.

As Demi pulled on the doorknob separating her from the outside world, she remembered a time before she had been with Selena, when Selena was still something unobtainable, something that Demi told herself time and time again would never be hers. In a way she had been right. Here they were, so many years later, and was Selena hers? No. Never mind that for almost three years she had been. Never mind that in those three years Demi had decided that she would never be able to live without her, because in the end she had no choice.

As she stepped outside she noticed how incredibly windy it was. Demi always thought that on days like these, sunshine was wasted. Who could possibly enjoy the sun when the wind was so strong it felt like it was cutting into you and trying to make off with as much of you as it could grab? The wind finally stopped when she stepped into the safety of her car. Turning the ignition and hitting the gas, she thought back to the good old days, back when she pined for Selena from the safety of anonymity. She wished so badly to be back there, because no matter how brilliant the sun was, facing the wind just wasn't worth it.

_Selena sat at her desk, cheek resting on the palm of her hand, oblivious to the thoughts running through her friend's mind, thoughts causing an internal argument in Demi's head that Selena was also oblivious to._

"_See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!"_

_Demi quickly rubbed her eyes to try and rid them of their longing and slapped her cheek to try and clear her head. _

"_Did I really just quote Shakespeare?!" _

_She tried to keep from looking at her anymore because as soon as her eyes took in Selena's beautiful frame, her soft, flowing, raven hair, her delicate arms; Demi was a goner. She became completely lost in the very thing that makes Selena, well, Selena; and consequently so completely irresistible. Of course with all this talk about Selena, she found herself, once again, staring at her. _

_She watched as Selena reached into a plastic bag that was sitting on the wooden table before her and took out a single, round, cheerio. She slowly brought it to her mouth and stuck it in between her top and bottom rows of teeth. She didn't crunch down on it yet, instead she simply held it there, playing with it. She had no idea that at the same time she was also playing with Demi. Selena suddenly brought her jaws together with a resounding snap and the cheerio was no more. She then reached for another one, but instead of giving it the care and attention she gave the first one, she threw it up into the air and caught it in her open, awaiting, mouth. She swallowed it with only one or two chews and reached into the bag for another one. This one she slowly brought to her red lips as she wrapped those lips around it and softly took it in all view of the cheerio was blocked off as she closed her mouth around it and it lived out its final moments in the dark comforting privacy of her mouth. Demi couldn't help but laugh at herself and her sentimentality, she was basically writing The Life and Times of a Cheerio in her head. She shook her head and chuckled softly at what a weirdo she could be at times._

Demi stepped out of the car, making sure to lock it. She looked around at where she found herself, and realized that she didn't like it. The titanic buildings around her seemed to soar into the sky and the people bustling along around her didn't seem friendly or amiable at all. She frowned, remembering that she used to love the city. When had that changed? She took a deep breath and walked up the stairs leading to the front door to Selena's apartment. The concrete beneath her shoes was dull and gray, but it had never bothered her before. Everything about this city made her want to turn around and run, run back to her house where there was grass and trees and where it was easy to breathe and she didn't have to fight with the smog and the car exhaust just to get in the air her body so desperately needed.

Instead of running she pushed open the door and walked up the stairs inside to the apartment she had been to so many times, because deep down she knew it wasn't the city making her want to run, and it wasn't the smog making it difficult to breathe, it was the girl on the other side of the door. She knocked softly, looking down at the red leaf in her hand, the only thing she had brought with her. When the girl opened the door, Demi ignored the look of shock that immediately took up residence on Selena's face. Demi took her hand and Selena took a faulty step backwards, almost falling. She leaned towards her, and when Selena didn't move she smiled and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead, feeling rather than seeing Selena's breath catch in her throat. Demi turned around, letting her fingers linger on Selena's hand for just a moment before she walked out the door, closing it quietly behind her as she he heard Selena let out the breath she had been holding. This time when Demi exited the building and looked around her at the city, she didn't feel like running. She felt calm, she felt happy, and finally she felt hopeful.

Back at the apartment, Selena looked down at the red leaf Demi had placed in her hand before she left, and with a gasp she dropped it as if it was the fire which it so resembled. It floated to the ground and Selena backed away as she watched it, shaking her head. Her legs hit the couch behind her and she fell. Tears filled her eyes as she curled up onto the couch, grabbing a pillow and muffling the sobs. The memory the leaf conveyed filled her head, and despite it all she smiled, through her tears, through the sobs, she smiled. She smiled because no matter how much pain the memory caused, it was a happy one, and she focused on it, not thinking forward to what she knew happened later.

_Walks in the park had become a common date for the new couple. While walking in a park, even hand in hand, most people will assume that you are just close friends or sisters, regardless of how improbable it sounds. It's easier then opening one's eyes to the truth, because the truth is not always the prettiest or the cleanest; so the two were able to stay relatively low-key and relatively close at the same time._

_Fall had always been Selena's favorite season, but with Demi it was a whole new experience. She looked down at her hand that was held loosely in Demi's. It never ceased to amaze her how much she loved holding Demi's hand. It was just skin, wasn't it? Everyone had it, and it wasn't like she'd never held anyone's hand before. There was just something about the fact that it was Demi's. Maybe it had to do with how soft Demi's skin was, or how smooth, or how warm her hand always was. Maybe it was in the way Demi held it, carefully, sometimes barely even touching it. She held it as if it was an illusion, if she gripped too tight the illusion would shatter. _

_Demi's hands were the reason Selena had decided she was special. Selena had seen the movies and read the books, and she'd learned that when you loved someone it was supposed to feel like your skin was on fire when you touched them. Selena had worried and obsessed over the fact that in all her past relationships, relationships with people she had thought she loved, she had never felt her skin burn. Not once. Then, one day while they were walking down a crowded hallway at school, Demi's arm had accidentally brushed hers, and Selena found that the movies and books were wrong. Yes, her arm burned. In fact, it kept burning for at least an hour afterwards until it wasn't so much a burn but a constant reminder, making Selena incapable of thinking of anything else but the person who had given it to her. _

_Beside her, Demi slowed down and came to a stop, dragging her out of her reverie. Demi turned towards her and grinned, the fading light making her eyes twinkle and shine._

"_C'mon Lena." She nodded towards the tree, gently pulling Selena towards it and sitting down underneath. (Well, Selena sat. Demi threw herself onto her back with her arms spread and looked straight up with a goofy grin on her face.) Selena shook her head, chuckling at Demi's silliness, and lay down next to her. For the first time she realized what a beautiful tree they were under. She looked up through the giant branches laden with red and orange leaves, backlit against the sunset sky colored by a surprisingly similar pallet of colors._

"_You know it's getting dark, and we're in a pretty remote part of the park Dems…" Selena said quietly after a while._

"_Your point is?" Demi asked, turning her head to face her friend._

"_Well, I mean, it just doesn't seem like the safest situation to me." Selena said, not meeting Demi's gaze._

"_I'll protect you." Demi answered, a smile playing on her lips. When Selena looked back at her, she noticed that Demi had moved much closer to her and was moving still closer. Her hand met Demi's as their lips touched and all thoughts of danger left Selena's mind. A single red leaf floated down from the tree and landed in Selena's hair. Demi smiled as she gently picked it out._

"_I'm keeping this, hope you don't mind." Demi said._

"_Well since it landed in my hair I believe it's mine." Selena answered, trying to sound serious but not really succeeding._

"_Yes, but I picked it out, and you know what they say, finders keepers." Demi said, a smirk playing on her lips. Selena, in answer, made a grab for the leaf, but Demi was faster. She jumped onto her feet and began to run, Selena close behind. She tackled Demi as soon as she got close enough to do so, landing on top of her when she fell on the overgrown grass. They rolled around happily until it got too dark to see, at which point they finally got up and went home, Demi still holding on to the leaf._

At this point Selena fell asleep on the couch, the memory still playing in her head, morphing and changing as it became less memory and more dream. The smile was still present on her lips.


End file.
